Finding the right help

A safety plan is just a set of ideas you prepare in advance, so your brain has a path to follow in a frightening moment. You do not have to share it with anyone.

• Know your exits. Which doors, windows, or stairways are quickest? Practice leaving if you can.
• Keep your phone charged. Save 999 and the Helpline under a safe name if needed.
• Pack a small bag. Include ID, money, bank cards, keys, medicines, and a change of clothes for you and the children. Hide it somewhere safe, or keep it with a trusted person.
• Teach children safely. If age-appropriate, agree a simple word or signal that means “call for help.”

You are dealing with something huge. Your nervous system is working overtime. Self-care is not indulgent here; it is survival.

• Drink water and eat something regularly, even if you are not hungry.
• Sleep when you can, even if that means napping during the day.
• Ground yourself with one slow breath, one familiar smell, or one gentle touch.
• Connect with one person you trust, even briefly.
• Be gentle with your own reactions. Nothing you are feeling is wrong.

Friends and family often feel helpless. You do not need to rescue them. Your steady, non-judgmental presence is already powerful.

• Believe them. The biggest gift you can give is “I believe you.”
• Avoid “why don’t you just leave?” Leaving is often the most dangerous moment. They know their risks better than anyone.
• Offer specific help. “Can I keep a bag for you?” or “Shall I check in at the same time each day?”
• Respect their decisions. They are the expert on their own safety.